The SGFail Blog is Here

For all things FAIL in Singapore:

http://sgfail.tumblr.com/

I’m Not An Expat

I’m much much much more foreign than talent

Man I really dislike the words ‘Foreign Talent!’

Saying that. I’m not a Singaporean either. Far from it.

Beware of Vehicle!

When it comes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

When it comes. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Be Heard in Mandarin Campaign

So apparently not everyone in Singapore was as impressed as I was with the little ang moh kids’ Mandarin on this ‘be heard in Mandarin’ campaign:

APPARENTLY. Seeing little ang moh kids on television, with Mandarin better than theirs, causes young Singaporean kids to feel inadequate about themselves.

Adversely, if I saw little Chinese kids speaking English better than me (which is not difficult, trust me) would I feel the same way?

How about those three year old calculus geniuses that pop up from time to time in India too? My life would be a ruin if I were to think… “Oh no! I’m supposed to have some fancy degree yet these little three year old Indian kids pwnz my maths any day!”

Maids R Us

Usually I would joke about this kind of thing; but it appears to be very real:

"Its called Maids R Us, Maids R Us, Maids R Us!"

Why I would not want to be treated at House MD’s hospital

Apart from the team leader being a psychotic advanced stage Vicodin addict:

1. Constant insults from Dr House (although I probably need them… as do most of his patients).

2. The surgeons have absolutely no qualms about leaving you cut open whilst they go outside and have a discussion with their girlfriend.

3. Dating team members arguing about their relationship whilst treating you.

4. Doctors having random conversations about personal lives, complex mind battles between House and Cuddy/Wilson/Random team member in between them diagnosing your ailment.

5. Every single team member being drunk at a huuuuge stag party whilst you’re lying in your hospital bed in critical condition.

Last of all:

6. Everyone who goes into that hospital has some sort of seriously nasty and unprobable (but real) disease. Being referred to the hospital alone indicates that you’re pretty much in a bad way.

Twittering Around

Yeah. So I’m on twitter. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

Big Whoop. Wanna fight about it?

Twitter could really change the way we communicate. Writing snippets of text in 140 characters could move us in the same direction it moved the Japanese to communicate through their i-mode handsets and later on cause the bestselling novels to be written on and for mobile phones. Perhaps we will see a best selling/followed twitter novel yet. (A twovel?)

So what have I done so far?

- Got an account

- Found interesting people

- Interesting people found me

- Spammers found me

- Tweeted about nonsense

- Ranted about stuff that is of no interest to my followers but I’ll whine about anyway

- Tweeted about interesting links

- Retweeted interesting links

- Used a desktop client.

- Used a mobile client.

- Hooked up my tumblr account to it

- Made an account for my company and use it for talking to other professionals in the same industry. Which has been really useful.

Type of people I follow and follow back if they follow me: witty, tech savvy and generally interesting people.

Type of people I don’t follow back: mlm-ers, make money fast-ers, wealth builders, ah bengs/townies/bogans/etc, people peddling crap, people who don’t have any updates or updates that I can’t read in order to figure out who you are (sorry!).

Most interesting twitter by-product so far? http://cursebird.com/ which is a website that captures and aggregates people cursing on twitter. Although I’ve yet to think of the value of such a site, other than it being an excellent tool for those learning non-native English learners who want to take their language skills to the next level.

Scary insights about Singaporean society? The fact that out of the 100 highest graded tweeters in Singapore, there are FAR TOO MANY mlm-ers, get rich quick pushers & financial freedom peddlers. Yawn.

The best value that twitter has given me? Found that it is an excellent place for learning about events, news, interesting links, technology, etc, etc, etc, increased my knowledge of the world tenfold. I hope it is hear to stay and will not get destroyed by spammers and Aston Kutcher.

Mini Beers

I can’t quite get my head around these mini beers (135ml). The supermarket has them in single cans as well as six packs. I can only imagine they can be included as part of an alcoholic’s recommended breakfast in the place of regular orange juice. They had Sapporo beer as well. Must be a Japanese thing.

Kirin Mini Beer

Singapore Humor

Most Westerners who are new to the country might think that Singaporeans don’t have a sense of humor. That’s only because they don’t GET their humor. After 8 years here I still don’t really get it but I still don’t discount it. Each to their own I suppose. My first experience with it was when, for some reason I can’t remember, I was vacuuming the floor in my office. (yes ang moh do actually vacuum the floor. we’re not above that.)

Me: *vacuuming the floor noises*

Middle aged Singaporean office lady: “Oh look! Singapore’s most highly paid foreign maid.”

Me: Huh?

Middle aged Singaporean office lady: *GUFFAW!*

Random Musings on Mock Tofu

Inspired by George Clooney tofu, it made me wonder about what tofu can actually be made into.

Naturally, we see mock renditions of popular foods in our society such as mock fish, mock chicken, mock pork and mock beef.

Does it actually matter though? It is tofu/soy/etc after all and isn’t meat. So why bother giving it a different name and trying to make it resemble something it isn’t?

Thinking further, we might also see mock renditions of things that are eaten in very small circles, such as mock snake, mock dog, mock rabbit, mock insects, mock bulls-testicles, mock tiger-penis, etc. Would a vegetarian feel queasy eating mock dog?

Now for the killer question… Would you eat something called ‘mock human?’ Would sellers of mock-human be causing a sociological problem or present their product as a possible primer for cannibalism?

What’s in a name anyway?